You should have wrote me back...

SH:7/ML/1037


Lawton Wednesday Evening Dec 5th 1838


*Top Corner*

I forget to tell you where we had been for

a month. At Chicksands in Bedfordshire

in a visit to Holland Ackers & his wife

& afterwards in London.

 

As it generally happens that I have to read &

pay for a vast number of letters for which one postage

is more than sufficient, I have latterly adopted the plan

of limiting those that are to travel after me, and as when

I left home a month ago I had ceased to calculate on any

chance of hearing from you, your two letters, my Dearest Fred;

were amongst those which on Monday last I found on my

writing table. You are right, “man does not live by bread alone

“nor friendship by scribbling-“ but nevertheless a little bread, & a

little scribbling are both very necessary in their way. As long

as one treads the same soil, so long as one knows a few hours

can bring us on the threshold of those one loves, idleness in

writing seems a small offense. but where centuries of miles

& oceans of water divide those who care for each other, interest

becomes deeper, anxieties thicken & in proportion as one feels this

to be the case it is difficult to believe oneself much cared

for if a letter is neither written nor desired. I thought of

 

you often, and longed to write - but I would do so to no purpose.

Now, my dear Fred, you may object to the sayings of others

if you suppose it was those sayings that gave birth to my feelings

of painful mortification; but such was not the case, I shed some

tears over your neglect and tho’ I never admitted to others the truth

of their reasoning, yet I knew not how to make an exception in

my own favor, when I found myself so completely in the same

boat with all the rest. After all we cannot dive into peoples

hearts, & until we can do so it is impossible that we can be

judged by ought but our actions. I have often heard you say

there is time to do any thing we like, not perhaps as we best

like, but yet to do it. a line would have been welcome. but

it came not— however, I have done. You & your friend have

returned well and happy, & from your letter, dated Lyons, which

I read first from bearing a foreign post mark, you seem to have

^been well amused. Mrs. Miller was in Paris in June, & singularly enough

heard of you there from the stay or mantua maker - Twice I passed

& repast thro’ Halifax & inquired of you at the Inn, but I heard

nothing satisfactory, all kind of reports were in circulation. I am

glad to find that of Adney’s being first dying & then dead had

no ground to rest upon, from the account your letter gives you

must have brought her back a little Hercules, for no strength less than

this world have carried her up the pic de midi de Pau. I have

 

been reading a work entitled a summer in the Pyrenees, & as far

as a book can go am quite at home in some of the places you

mention. As I often dated from here when we were at Moreton

this will tell you nothing, (for certain as to our present abode)

but we at least resettled in our own

home, and as far as looks go, a very improved one it is, but your thoughts

now can have no idea where to find me. I am writing this in a room

which you never saw nor dreamt of, it is called the North room

with two windows, one looking each way: next to it is a billiard room

& over the two our bed room & dressing room, standing where formerly

was Grantham’s pantry & the servants Hall; much additional

pleasure ground is added, & there are many alterations, but now we

are settled we find out much imperfect work, as I suppose most

dabblers in brick & mortar do. I have had much anxiety and

inconvenience on account of a terrible accident Watson met with

4 months ago, since which time she has been unable to take any

part of her usual occupation. She fell while getting into a light spring

cart, after a day of fatigue here, & so injured her hip as to have been

lame ever since, the left hand in some way or other, for it seems quite

inexplicable, got so dreadfully injured with lacerated tendons & broken bones

that up to this time she has had no use in it, & until very lately, to call

the misshapen thing a hand was a libel on the name. She was in other

respects much hurt & I fear never will be herself again. I have had

a person here as housekeeper acting for me in her place with whom

I am now going to part, she is a very quite well conducted woman

of 36, can work well at a needle & has been well educated she w[oul]d

make an excellent attendant upon a lady or in the capacity of companion.

 

If you know of anyone requiring such services - I am parting too

with an excellent look if you want one. She has lived 5 years under

a man cook but is too young for my place. her age 26. Wages 20 guineas.

My mother is quite as well as she has been for years & possesses

equally good spirits. Anne was with us at Harrogate for a month

& it did for a great deal of good. The squire is ten years younger than

when you saw him last, both in respect & health & spirits - The

2 Crewes are just returned to England from their school at Frankfurt. Offley in

Jan; going to Oxford, & Henry to Liverpool for a merchant. How time flies.

Helen Chuse has lost her husband. The Swetenhams just returned

home after 2 years sojourn abroad. The Mrs Buchanans going abroad for 2 years

and your great friend at Betley Miss Anastasia Gwenlow, as large as life,

& in perfect health - as to myself I am looking and feeling myself older

Time is doing his work and not so silently as in some cases. We

have at length some hopes of getting rid of our

Parson Mr Ford, but it seems as if it would be too

good luck to be likely to come to pass. Adieu, my

dearest Fred, with affectionate love to Adney I remain

your sincere friend. MPLawton

 

Cross writing first page:

I did not believe you could in heart forget me

and I think you for the remembrance of

which you speak but I would rather have

had a line in season.


 

#Lawton #1838 #remodel #Hercules #Pyrenees #Watson #Crewe #Ford #MrsMiller